Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
How do we forgive? Is there a button in our minds that we can press when we have been hurt by someone we love in order to forgive them and accept the act in which they have done? Or is the act of forgiving sometimes mistaken for forgetting? It sounds so much easier to just forget something rather than to forgive, when you forgive you have to come face to face with the problem, accept it, and become okay with it. My whole life I have constantly been hurt by those around me, and either I have removed them from my life, or came face to face with the issue and accepted it and forgave them and moved on.
I've never been one to hold grudges... As a kid, my siblings and myself would get into the ugliest fights, claim we weren't related anymore, and then find ourselves playing with one another that very same day. Even with my mother, we would participate in some of the nastiest, screaming fights, saying things we both knew weren't true, and still, we would forgive one another because we knew how much we loved each other, and that our love was worth so much more. It is though much easier to forgive when both people are in the wrong, it is so much harder to forgive when one side is the victim and the other has done the hurting.
So why is it that when it comes to certain situations, we find it so much harder to forgive? Is it the fear of what others think that prevents us from opening our hearts to forgiveness? Or is it the fear that they will do the same exact thing all over again? The heart is such a delicate organ that we sometimes take for granted. What my heart endured these past few months was indescribable, yet I find myself opening it up yet again to the possibility of being hurt.
Forgiveness, I think, is a trait that people worry can be mistaken for weakness. I know I sometimes feel like, "hey, if I forgive, will that make me look weak?'.. But how can you live your life thinking people won't constantly make mistakes? I mean, don't get me wrong, some mistakes are inexcusable and down right wrong, but ask yourself, have you ever made a mistake? Sometimes people have to make mistakes to see how terrible of a decision they made. An awful experience needs to be had in order to realize how good another is.. I'm not condoning making mistakes, but I am trying to explore forgiveness.
Why is it we are so worried about what others will think of our own life decisions? After all, at the end of the day, I'm the one who has to answer to my own life decisions. What matters most is happiness, right?
I know forgiving, especially in my own situation, will be a deed much easier said than done, but if I don't do it, two people could loose something that neither may ever experience with someone else. I think that with every relationship comes a story, and it's written in a really big book...
I don't think our book is quite filled yet, in fact, I think it might be time to start a new chapter.
I'm not exactly sure how to forgive, but I think fate will play a big part in helping me to learn how to..