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Monday, April 11, 2011

To sleep with your friend..

"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them."

    'Friends with benefits' can be the greatest thing ever, and can also ruin your fucking life. In my time here on Earth, I've definitely tried the whole 'friends with benefits' thing many times. For those who don't know, this means having someone in your life who you are not in a serious relationship with, someone like a friend, and having sex with this person. There's no messy emotions, or strings between the two of you, just two friends who happen to have sex. This has the potential to actually be very rewarding if you both are willing to have sex and no more, but when one side begins to develop feelings, it can result in tragedy.
     Sex is a fun, enjoyable experience, but as humans, there's no denying that we become emotionally and chemically connected to another person through the act of sexual intercourse. From my experience with 'friends with benefits', it has never ended well. I guess I have some male qualities about me where I can have sex with a guy, and not become emotionally attached. The day he started having feelings for me, it was like the chemistry between us went away, and it went from being something fun and easy, to complicated and painful.
    Other times, I've found myself fooling around with a good friend, and then one day realizing that I couldn't get the image of this person out of my head. I would crave their presence, want their touch, starve for their attention. It got to the point where I was in love with a man who only liked me for the sex. It was awful. I understand now, later in my life, that I made him believe that that was all I wanted... rough, emotionless, hard sex. But inside, I think I was just a young girl, who wanted attention anyway I could have gotten it.
    Of course now, as I have matured and grew a better understanding of life and lust, I would be able to make the decision of how I want to create a relationship with someone, and stick to it. I feel like it's not just women who have trouble not falling for someone emotionally in a beneficial friendship, it's men as well.
   Like Beau and myself, our relationship... don't get me wrong, maybe one day the two of us can use the intense sexual attraction we have and maybe spark it into something more, but right now, the uninhibited lust we share is something I wouldn't trade for anything.
    To conclude, if you have reached a level of maturity in your life where you see yourself able to sleep with a friend and have that be it... then do it. Just remember that once you get your heart mixed up in it, someone can really end up getting hurt.